Now There's A Defense!

I can’t imagine anything, aside from powerful psychotropic drugs, that would make Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked anything other than 87 minutes of pure hell. Then again, my imagination doesn’t think of things like going to the theater and getting buck naked, either:

A Chicago man was arrested last week after being spotted sitting fully nude in the front row of a suburban matinee screening of Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.

96 other patrons were escorted out, probably by a SWAT team in full regalia, and the dude was arrested. But wait, he’s got a defense:

[The accused] reportedly told police he was duped into nudity not by those wanton temptresses of the Chipettes but by a woman who let him into the theater, told him to strip, and promised that she’d be there shortly to ‘have sex and do drugs.’

You know the old saw about how if something sounds too good to be true? Same applies to offers from women to meet up at a kiddie movie and get freaky. Or so I’ve been told.

But it’s all OK now. He’s in jail ($100,000 bond? Are you kidding me?) and will not doubt wind up as a registered sex offender. Which we all know is the key to being successfully rehabilitated and reintegrated into society.